Oh, Scalzi, you have no idea how hard that is for me. I've already told every single joke I know in one blog or another, except for a couple of politically incorrect ones of yesteryear, some elephant jokes that are actually riddles, and a few that belong to John Manynames and I wouldn't want to steal them. I'm not a jokey person, which is perhaps why I love the Brick Joke so much. It's the ultimate anti-joke. Here are most of them:
(Links updated 3/14/09:)
2/4/05: Karen's Joke File: An Experiment (#1 of about 5)
2/5/05: Karen's Joke File #2: The Brick (The Rooster Was Better)
2/6/05: Karen's Joke File #3: The Prison Jokes
2/7/05: Karen's Joke File #4: The Con and the Corn Flakes
2/8/05: Karen's Joke File: The Monkey and the Cigar
10/8/05: The Jon Pertwee Memorial Joke
10/6/05: Bad Jokes, Told Badly
I don't know. I manage to make my boss laugh on a daily basis, and co-workers in email, but that's with little quips, not jokes. (Update: by way of example, here's a bit of banter from Saturday afternoon. John's computer setup was beeping - beep...beep...beep... - something to do with a power issue. I asked him whether it was the sound of the computer "backing up.")
Do you really want to hear about the elephants in the VW, or Tarzan and the elephants? 'Cause that's all I can come up with right now. No, scratch that. I'm not telling Tarzan and the elephants because it's out of a book I read at age seven or so. The VW one I got from Joel all those years ago.
How many elephants can you fit in a Volkswagon Beetle?
Six: three in the back, two in the front, and one in the glove compartment.
Listen, I know it's lame. I'll try to top that before the weekend's over.
(Nope, didn't come up with a thing. But when I asked John for a joke, he directed me to Aisle 11 at Safeway.)
Extra Credit: So, ever been to Kansas City? Because that's where I'm going.
Um, I don't remember. We may have driven through at some point. But I'm sure I wasn't standing on the corner, 12th Street and Vine.
(Update: no, wait, I forgot two specific incidents that happened there:
1. In the mid-1990s I went to a Quantum Leap convention that I'm pretty sure was in Kansas City. While there I had a positive result on a home pregnancy test, followed almost immediately by evidence that the pregnancy didn't take. Based on what my fertility doctor said later, I'm guessing that there was a fertilized egg, but it didn't implant. I really was "a little bit pregnant." It was as close as I got before we had to give up.
2. I got a free positive space ticket from Braniff at a travel agent function, sometime around 1990. I used it to visit my mom in Florida and use another freebie, a three day cruise on the Oceanic to the Bahamas. But the Braniff people at my connection in Kansas City either forgot to put me on the list or else improperly gave my ticket less priority than their other stand by passengers, mostly Braniff employees. I didn't get on the plane. I was stuck in Kansas City for 24 hours. My mom completely freaked, but really it was no problem. I took a free hotel shuttle to someplace nearby, returned the next morning, talked to the airline people and spent the rest of the time reading a Star Trek novel. Easy. And we still made the cruise.)
The wind's picked up the last day or two, and I felt a smattering of rain as I left work tonight. We're starting to gear up for the monsoon. Good thing, too, because 114 degrees isn't much fun, and I like the "dramatic weather" of the summer monsoon.
(Update: no, wait, I forgot two specific incidents that happened there:
1. In the mid-1990s I went to a Quantum Leap convention that I'm pretty sure was in Kansas City. While there I had a positive result on a home pregnancy test, followed almost immediately by evidence that the pregnancy didn't take. Based on what my fertility doctor said later, I'm guessing that there was a fertilized egg, but it didn't implant. I really was "a little bit pregnant." It was as close as I got before we had to give up.
2. I got a free positive space ticket from Braniff at a travel agent function, sometime around 1990. I used it to visit my mom in Florida and use another freebie, a three day cruise on the Oceanic to the Bahamas. But the Braniff people at my connection in Kansas City either forgot to put me on the list or else improperly gave my ticket less priority than their other stand by passengers, mostly Braniff employees. I didn't get on the plane. I was stuck in Kansas City for 24 hours. My mom completely freaked, but really it was no problem. I took a free hotel shuttle to someplace nearby, returned the next morning, talked to the airline people and spent the rest of the time reading a Star Trek novel. Easy. And we still made the cruise.)
The wind's picked up the last day or two, and I felt a smattering of rain as I left work tonight. We're starting to gear up for the monsoon. Good thing, too, because 114 degrees isn't much fun, and I like the "dramatic weather" of the summer monsoon.
Meanwhile, I've got Heirs of Mâvarin edited through Chapter 6 now. That chapter was a problem, actually. I would have been in bed an hour ago, but Word crashed when I tried to save, and the autosave didn't retain anything for some reason. I had to redo nearly the whole chapter. But it's done now, and I'm in Chapter Seven, page 269. I just hope I found and reconstructed all my little edits. Chapter Six is also the first to get a little longer this time through, instead of a little shorter.
Must sleep now! Good night!
1 comment:
Fun post. Thanks for sharing!
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