THAT dream

I don't remember why my friend Sara wanted to experiment with becoming microscopically small; but she did, and I helped her. Don't ask me how or why. Afterward I left her apartment (Sara doesn't live in an apartment), with her still invisible. I must have dropped the key to her apartment somewhere as I left, without which she could not be restored. I searched and felt quite guilty. Eventually I found it in a hallway, under a chair.

But I didn't make it back there. Instead I was sitting with some people on a lawn at something that looked like a tableau of Americana. It turned out to be a tableau of Americana, for a tv show. They let us stay because we fit right in, I guess.

Afterward we were in a cafe or someplace, and I was trying to explain about my friend who was currently microscopic. I could not remember her name. I was pretty sure it started with a D, but...

"All I can come up with is Dawn," I said, "and I know that's not right."

"Dawn is a Buffy character."

"I know that."

I struggled to come up with this name I really should remember, putting my whole body into the effort. This was a mistake, as I discovered when my dead friend Tracy turned up.

"Am I dead?" I asked her.

"Yes, you are."

I started shouting, Let me go back! Let me go back! There was no breath behind the words, no external sound. I kept shouting until I managed to produce an audible squeak of desperation and panic.

I was alive again. I took a breath. And I woke up.

Okay, it was just one dream, just one stupid, awful dream. I didn't belittle a friend, I'm not missing a key (metaphorical or otherwise), and I am most evidently alive.

But it's been many hours since then, and I'm sitting typing this when I really should be asleep. I do have sleep apnea. John has seen me stop breathing. Is that what happened this morning? Probably not. More likely it was an anxiety dream about taking care of myself and meeting my obligations to others, and what if I fail? Do I get another chance?

Karen

Weekend Assignment #305: Suddenly the Senses

On Thursday night, just as I was leaving work, I heard bagpipes again. That's the inspiration for this week's topic.

Weekend Assignment #305: You're going about your day and then you sense something - a sight, a sound, a smell, perhaps even a texture or a taste. Whatever it is, it evokes a treasured memory of the past. What did you see, hear, touch, smell, or taste, and what did it remind you of?

Extra Credit: Are there any sounds, sights or smells you actually seek out because of the pleasant associations?

There are a few of them for me. The bagpipes I mentioned earlier always remind me of Epcot Center in Florida, a place I've run into bagpipers several times at least.

More evocative and emotional for me is a particular arrangement of Sleigh Ride, the one that Arthur Fiedler and the Boston Pops recorded many years ago. It was on at least one, and I think two, of the Christmas records I grew up with. I heard a band play this exact arrangement at a local mall once, and found myself in sudden tears.The choral arrangements on my beloved "green record," We Wish You a Merry Christmas by the Robert Rheims Choraliers, Organ and Chimes have a similar effect. It's less pronounced, though, because nobody else ever, as far as I know, recorded those classic arrangements accompanied by chimes, much less performed them live in my hearing.

Dad and me on vacation but not fishing on a non-rainy day, 1971.

And there's another, weirder one, not music-oriented and not at all Christmassy. When I was growing up in Manlius, NY, it rained a lot, and the worms would crawl out of the ground to escape the soaked and muddy earth. The smell of rain on days like that was at least partly the smell of drowned worms. That odd, not really unpleasant aroma would bring with it a memory of sitting on a dock in New Hampshire or Cape Cod or, more likely, outside Henderson Harbor, NY, up on Lake Ontario. It was the smell of fishing with my parents and brother.

Marshall Gulch on a damp day

Equally evocative is the smell of wet wood on a rainy, chilly day, a smell I can find up on Mount Lemmon sometimes, up at the top of the road among the tall pines. That smell reminds of sitting in a cabin in the Adirondacks, playing solitaire and waiting for the rain to stop. For some reason wherever we went, most of our family vacations involved day after day of rain. But that's okay, because I had a good time anyway.  And I've got these great memories of 40-odd years ago, waiting for a worm or a damp log to come along and evoke them.

As for seeking out sensual memories, I still love that old "green record," although these days it's a CD John ripped for me years ago from the out of print record. And I suppose it's part of why I love Marshall Gulch, the pine-filled picnic area above Summerhaven. It reminds me of the Adirondacks, and those long-ago, chilly-rainy vacations in northern New York State.

***

Last week I asked you folks whether you were okay with my partnering up with Carly of Ellipsis for future Weekend Assignments. Everybody thought it was a good idea, and Carly has graciously agreed to do it. Next Thursday night, look for Carly's first official Weekend Assignment as host, over on Ellipsis.

Meanwhile, let's take a look at the results of later week's Assignment. For Weekend Assignment #304: Frazzled! How Do You De-Stress?, I asked what you do to relieve the tension when you're feeling frazzled. Click on the names below to read the full responses:



Florinda said...

I don't have a single, all-purposes stress-relief technique - does anyone? But I do have several things I might try, depending on the context - where I am at the time, and what seems to be triggering the majority of the stress (because if I'm truly frazzled and overwhelmed, it's probably not just due to one thing). One of my stress relievers is actually productive, while others are more about avoidance....

Julie said...

Well, I have several options. One is my weekly bowling. That's my big stress-buster. The other is to take off and do something else - which I'm about to do right now.

Mike said...

Short answer; I don't. I suck at getting rid of stress. Really. Just ask Jenn. I bottle everything up then get all pissy about stupid stuff. Don't I sound like a fun person to live with?


I do somethings that help once in a while. I will play video games to try and feel better, but if I have trouble in the game I get irritated again. How does that help?

Carly said...

My favorite way to de-stress is pretty simple actually, I like to take pictures!


But then I also have to give some de-stressing credits to my kitties, Dylan and Hendrix. They keep me laughing. Pets are so healthy to have around. I know I am as sane as I am because I have these little people to help keep me happy.

As for this week's topic, I realize I'm probably going out on a limb with this one. Maybe you don't remember anything like this, at least not off the top of your heard. But please think about it. I want to read what you come up with!

I've posted a page about the Weekend Assignments using Blogger's new "Pages" feature. Click the link above this entry for a very brief history of the Weekend Assignment, logos you can save to post on your own blog, and guidelines on how to play along. Guidelines like these, in fact:

1. Please post your entry no later than Wednesday, February 10th at 9 PM Eastern. This first week it's a shorter time frame than usual, but it will all work out in the end. (You can also post your response in the comments thread, but a blog entry is better.)

2. Please mention the Weekend Assignment in your blog post, and include a link back to this entry. Using the logo is encouraged but not mandatory.

3. Please come back here after you've posted, and leave a link to your entry in the comments below.

4. Visiting other participants' entries is strongly encouraged!

5. We're always looking for topic ideas. Please email me at mavarin2 on gmail.com if there's a Weekend Assignment theme you'd like to see. If I use your idea, you will be credited as that week's "guest professor."

6. I haven't run into any unpleasantness with this meme, ever, but just in case it ever happens, know that I reserve the right to remove rude or unpleasant comments (not to mention comment spam), and to leave entries off the linking list if the person has been majorly unpleasant, or fails to mention the Weekend Assignment in the entry.

That's it for now! Please remember to play along this week, and be sure to check Ellipsis next Thursday night for the next Weekend Assignment. And don't forget our two photo memes:

The Round Robin Photo Challenges - a new topic every two weeks


and


The Ellipsis Monday Photo Shoot - hosted by Carly, with a new topic every Monday!

We hope to hear from you soon.

Karen

Weekend Assignment #304: Frazzled! How Do You De-Stress?

This one, like so many Weekend Assignments, comes from my life this past week:

Weekend Assignment #304: How do you de-stress when you're feeling frazzled?

Extra Credit: The Weekend Assignment may soon have a co-host. That okay with everyone? 

(numbering corrected 2/5/10)

Frazzled. It's a word I keep running into lately, and I'm not the only person who has applied the term to me this week. In British English it apparently has a slightly different meaning than here, or at least a broader one. On Doctor Who it's been used to mean "broken beyond repair," or possibly "burnt out" in the sense of electronics. For me, though, it primarily means the way I feel when this is a good visual approximation:

Which I suppose does mean "burnt out," in a sense. But I hope not beyond repair!

Anyway. I've been working on a complex and difficult project at the Church, the sort of thing where I fix one problem and two others pop up. Time has not been on my side, so I've had to scramble frantically to get things done, sometimes on even less sleep than usual, spreadsheets proliferating wildly in my wake. On Friday I was sent home to rest and de-stress, on the grounds that I hadn't had a day off since the 3rd or January, or was it the 1st? It was getting pretty obvious to others that the pressure was getting to me.

So what did I do when I got home?

I worked on the problem a little more, in email, and it helped.

I watched the series finale of Dollhouse. And it helped.

I petted the dogs. And it helped.

I edited photos for the Round Robin. And it helped.

I did laundry. I'm not sure it helped with that particular source of stress, but at least now I have clean clothes!

Then today I met with the church treasurer for several hours. And it helped A LOT.

Generally, there are three things that seem to help me:

1. Sleep. I cannot overemphasize this one.
2. Get away for a bit. Yes, that can be escaping into Facebook or a tv show, but that's too routine to help all that much. Getting out into the mountains with the dogs and my camera is a much better bet for me, as I did last weekend.
3. Solve the problem. That's really the big one for me. It's fine to take a break, but if I can then tackle the actual problem and triumph, even over a small piece of it, that's what really helps me. How about you?

A word about the Extra Credit above. Sometimes the Weekend Assignment, as much as I love it, adds to my stress. After two years of making up the questions, with occasional suggestions for "guest professors," I find it hard sometimes to come up with something that's interesting to write about, not too complicated or obscure, and that hasn't already been asked by me or by John Scalzi before me. To avoid getting completely burned out, I've asked our friend Carly if she's willing to co-host the Weekend Assignment starting a few weeks from now. This means she would be creating and posting half of the assignments, bringing fresh ideas into this old meme. She's already come up with the idea to have a logo for the Weekend Assignment, as I've posted above. I encourage you to use this logo in your own blog. It's available in several sizes besides the big one:


250 pixels wide


220 pixels wide


125 pixels wide

I've included the following link so you can make the logo clickable if you like: http://outmavarin.blogspot.com/search/label/Weekend%20Assignment. We'll have a similar one for Carly's blog once we get going - assuming it's okay with you folks, of course! Or just link to the week's particular Assignment entry - e.g. this one.

Meanwhile, let's take a look at the results of later week's Assignment. For Weekend Assignment #303: To Tweet Or Not To Tweet, I asked whether or not you use Twitter and why. Click on the names below to read the full responses:

Julie said...

I love Twitter as much as it frustrates me. I've had to unfollow and/or block some folks who started off interesting and then suddenly changed into non-stop self-promotion machines of the most annoying kind. Oh, yes: Twitter is a very useful tool for promotion, but, like any other tool, it can hurt you if you use it wrong.

Carly said...

Ok, I admit it. When I first heard about Twitter I had to wonder what the big deal was. Ok, so you can find out in real time that "Henry" in Boise, has just milked his cow. Or maybe you could find out within a matter of seconds that "Simone" in Fairbanks has just finished her breakfast, but really, why would I care? Ok, it did intrigue me that someone famous could share their day, I mean that would be pretty glamorous right? I mean, it's going straight to the source, without all those pesky tabloids to make it all up, or airbrush the heck out of it. So, ok, I could see that as fun. Hmmm, I thought, maybe there was something to it.

Freda (welcome!) said...

I tweet. @fredalicious

Following 434
Followers 566
Listed 24

Mike said...

I know there are a lot of people who think Twitter is stupid or only for self-important people, and they can be right, but it can be useful at times, too. I've learned about several things first through Twitter; earthquakes, plane crashes, etc. Not to mention that J.D Salinger had died. I've never read Catcher in the Rye, but still, it was important. If used right it can be fun and informative and full of spambots, but there isn't much you can do about that.

Duane said...

I was avoiding social networking sites like the plague; they just didn't seem like my cup of tea. Several people told me I needed to get on Twitter, but I kept putting them off. One evening, my wife basically just put me on Facebook, and within a day or two, I finally decided to take the Twitter plunge. Both have worked out pretty well for me. 

So there you are - five responses to last week's Assignment. Will you join us this week, and tell us how you de-stress? Here are the guidelines in case you're interested:

1. Please post your entry no later than Friday, February 5th at 6 PM. (You can also post your response in the comments thread, but a blog entry is better.) I hope to get the next WA posted on Friday night, or Saturday night at the latest. If you get it in before I post, basically, you're golden!
2. Please mention the Weekend Assignment in your blog post, and include a link back to this entry. Using the logo is encouraged but not mandatory.
3. Please come back here after you've posted, and leave a link to your entry in the comments below.
4. Visiting other participants' entries is strongly encouraged!
5. I'm always looking for topic ideas. Please email me at mavarin2 on gmail.com if there's a Weekend Assignment theme you'd like to see. If I use your idea, you will be credited as that week's "guest professor."
6. I haven't run into any unpleasantness with this meme, ever, but just in case it ever happens, know that I reserve the right to remove rude or unpleasant comments (not to mention comment spam), and to leave entries off the linking list if the person has been majorly unpleasant, or fails to mention the Weekend Assignment in the entry.


That's it for now! I hope to hear from you soon.

Karen

Love Reign O'er Me

Thanks, folks, for the kind words in comments and emails. For those of you who have guessed that I may be having health issues, that's not it at all. Aside from very minor stress-related gut pain a few days ago - maybe a 2 out of 10, a huge improvement over the "11" I used to get back when I had a gall bladder - I'm as healthy as an obese 49-year-old can possibly claim to be. As for what the problem actually is, here's a hint. I left work just now at 5 AM. I got 8 hours of sleep Monday morning (previous nights' totals were 7 and 8) , but that clearly won't be true tonight. The photo is of my car in the parking lot of Unnamed Largish Company, seen from above per the Monday Photo Shoot. I think tonight's marathon is the last of the insane hours, but we'll see.

Karen

Introducing the New Format for This Week

It has been suggested to me that I give up blogging and Wikipedia for a week, the better to take care of Real Life. I'm not going to do that, but here's my compromise. I'm giving up Wikipedia for now except for the L'Engle pages, which mostly means adding a few facts and reverting a few vandals - no new entries or major overhauls. And here at the Outpost it's going to be one photo and one paragraph a night. Ten minutes' work, plus the photo editing if any. Here's the first one. To those who wonder: no I'm not sick, except for minor IBS from stress. Yes, I worked today. I also got the photos done for church. Huzzah! Only 19 cents each (on the church's dime), and nearly all of them came out great! Tonight's photo is one of the ones I had printed. (In retrospect I should have re-edited this photo for the web. It's taking forever to load!)

Karen

Karen's Fried Brain: a Recipe

Take one sleep-deprived human brain, female.
Add four hours of sleep.
Hit the snooze bar four times, but do not allow any additional sleep.
Add one Hershey's Kiss for breakfast.
Add one caffeine pill.
Add two ounces of diet cola, flat.
Fill with senseless numbers.
Place in ungreased frying pan.
Turn up the heat. Cook for 5 hours.
Add 1 chicken salad sandwich and 6 ounces of diet cola.
Increase heat. Cook for additional 6 hours.
Add two tablespoons of self-pity, and 1/4 cup guilt.
Mix thoroughly and pour into blog.
Season to taste. Serves two dozen.

(Alternate edit)

K.