Tuesday, November 14, 2006

If She Weighs the Same as a Duck...

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Snap a photo of something that floats. If it's buoyant, it's in!

John Scalzi photographed "devil ducks" for this, and admitted that they don't float upright very well. I was immediately reminded of my own rubber duck, which is sealed on the bottom and therefore doesn't squeak, and which has an unfortunate tendency to float upside down.

The second thing this photo shoot brought to mind was the following:
BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn? [pause]
VILLAGER #3: Be... cause they're made of... wood?
CROWD: Oh, yeah. Oh.
BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEVERE:Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #1: Oh, yeah.
RANDOM: Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...
BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No. No.
VILLAGER #2: No, it floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond! Throw her into the pond!
BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Uh, very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Uh, gra-- gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #3: Uh, churches! Churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead! Lead!
ARTHUR: A duck!
CROWD: Oooh.
BEDEVERE: Exactly. So, logically...
VILLAGER #1: If... she... weighs... the same as a duck... she's made of wood?
BEDEVERE: And therefore?
VILLAGER #2: A witch!
---from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
So, logically, I need to find out what floats besides witches. And ducks.

I had to go to the grocery store anyway. I returned home with a number of items that might or might not float.

Trident gum: yes.
Jello sugar-free cherry gelatin: yes.
A plastic-wrapped stick of Colby Jack cheese: yes.
A green pepper: yes.

Frozen crinkle-cut carrots: mostly, yes.

Orange-flavored cranberry raisins: not so much.

But enough with the food. What about witches, and wood, and ducks, and bats, and mice, and Eastern holy men?

For the first time in the 25 years I've owned it,
my rubber duck floated upright.
Rubber bat: yes.
Small jar of Play-Doh: yes.
Holy man with cell phone: yes, but only on his back.
Green skull: yes.
Orange spider ring: yes.

I don't have a witch to weigh, but I have a vintage troll, who floats.
Hollow rubber rat: not at all.

And yes, the villagers were right about one thing.
Wood: yes. Except it doesn't fit in the bowl.

I'm very tired tonight, so I'll postpone anything else I wanted to discuss tonight, except for two brief items:

  1. The Round Robin Photo Challenges topic "In the Kitchen" begins midnight Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. Click the link for details.
  2. Hint: begins with a P.


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Carly said...


Great entry! I especially like the Troll. LOL. Sometime I will tell you all about the adventure of Frankie The Troll! LOL

DesLily said...

goodness Karen.. you have some things I haven't seen in...well, A REALLY LONG TIME! lol...

julie said...

You forgot the small rocks. And the churches. You can check the churches out next monsoon season. ;-)

psychfun said...

A duck, a rat & a naked troll...what spell is that?