Maybe I Didn't Overreact

Sunset at the dog park, moments before I got the news.

This is going to be an interesting challenge for me, telling you what's going on without going into "too much information" yucky detail.

On Election Night, I had a symptom that very seldom means cancer. Most likely it was stress-related, or a fairly benign hormonal imbalance. I freaked out a little anyway.

I got the go-ahead from John to go see my doctor, even though I have no job and no health insurance. She ordered a blood test. Tonight she called me back. Dr. L is 70-80% sure it's just me having stress and my usual wonkiness. After all, I've had plenty of stress since First Magnus folded, including Tuffy's cancer. But she feels that margin of uncertainty is too high not to test for cancer. Because of the lack of insurance, she wants to skip the ultrasound and go for a biopsy. I guess I'll have to put it on a credit card. If it's cancer, I'll probably be in debt for the rest of my life. John is worried that we'll "lose everything," but I told him that's not true. Even if I got a job tomorrow, it's presumably too late to avoid the preexisting condition trap.

Tonight I've been freaking out a little, trying to think about something else but not really succeeding. I've read bits and pieces of cancer sites online, and it's not comforting. I'm in most of the risk factor categories, although I only have one of the symptoms.

A little while ago I decided to save this entry to draft and not post it, largely because of the pre-existing condition issue. I don't want to give some future insurer an excuse not to cover me. But as I consider it further, I realize I lost that battle when I went to see the doctor at all. And I already went public, in similarly general terms, in an entry on BarackObama.com, and in a cryptic remark right here last week. Odds are excellent that I don't have cancer, and there will be no major problems for a company to disallow treatment for. But frankly, even if everything is fine this time, I still need the health care reform that Barack Obama proposed during his campaign. A lot of people do. I just hope he can get it done. Eventually.

Dogs on the bed watch for clues that a trip to the dog park is imminent.

Pepper watches for dogs in the Reid Park parking lot.

I'm not really up for writing about anything else tonight, but I can post some unrelated photos. I've been neglecting Pepper photographically recently, so here, by request, are two photos that feature her.

Almost-homemade soup is on the way.

We had Tuna Helper tonight, and I almost forgot to add the tuna. John says "no more Helper," even though we've only had it once. Guess it's time to figure out a different grocery strategy for our austerity food budget. I know! I'll try this activity known as "cooking" that Carly is so keen about. Check out tonight's groceries. For Wednesday's dinner, I'll be turning the remains of Monday's roast chicken into chicken soup. And look! A new entry in the "pumpkin anything" derby: two-bite pumpkin walnut cookies!

Karen